Blessed

This post started at 7:30 this morning as I was waiting for the doctors to round. It was titled very differently. I have learned that there are certain thing that I am patient with to a fault almost and then there are other things I am not patient all. Like waiting for the dr to call/information to be given, I'm not patient at all. The doctor finally came, the plan was made, my NJ tube was removed, I got a shower, and tube feeds (through my J-tube) were started. 

As I settled back down into writing this blog, I realized something, I am so incredibly blessed. During this crazy time of my life, I know that I have a Father in Heaven who truly cares about me. He doesn't show me through taking away my trial but by sending me the right people to walk through the trial with me and by giving me little supplies along the way to keep me going. I have felt such a huge out pouring of love for me and my family. 

Monday I was wishing that we could have made it up to the Cleveland Clinic for my treatment of the bowel obstruction so I could be under my surgeons care and that thought has come up a few times during my experience here at OSU but it dawned on me today that I am so very grateful that I was too sick to make it up to Cleveland because I would have missed out on so many blessings that have made this time easier for me. 

On Monday I had a PICC line placed and the team that came to place it was the same team that placed my first PICC line a year ago. They came in and asked if I had ever had a picc line before and I told them yes and that it was placed here at OSU a year ago. The gal looked at her computer and came back said, "You did and we were the ones who placed it!" I didn't recognize them until we started talking, one of the gals was pregnant at the time and her baby is now 7 months old. Once we got talking she remembered my story. It was something that made getting a PICC line fun. 

Visits from my precious daughters on Monday. People ask if they are mine and I am proud to tell them they are my children. They add a challenge all of their own into this crazy life but I wouldn't give them back for anything.

On the 5th Floor there is a family waiting area for those in surgery. At night it is pretty empty so it is a great place to take the girls so they don't bother the person I share a room with.

Kassia wanted to eat my IV poll.

The Girls, had to make sure that every locker was closed. One man opened his locker and you could just see Maia inching closer and waiting for him to leave so she could close the locker for him. 

Spending time with the man who holds my world together.

Kassia is not quite sure about me and the tube in my nose but she would still snuggle me a little. 

At 10:00 pm they started my TPN (nutrition given though the PICC line). It was nice to finally know I wasn't going to have to starve another day. 

On Tuesday I was blessed with finding out that my intestines were no longer obstructed. I had an upper GI and small bowel follow through done and the barium went through my intestines. Because of an incident Monday night they sent me down to fluoroscopy with my own personal nurse. My study took twice as long as normal and I got to know the nurse pretty well. That has lead to very friendly conversations when I walk the halls of the hospital because I run into him or the other nurses that have cared for me and they all stop to ask how I am doing. 

Tuesday afternoon I had a friend and her daughter stop by and bring me these beautiful flowers. They are called Godetia. I learned today that they are beautiful in a wedding bouquet and they only have a short blooming season (according to one of the hospital workers). I think I may have found a new favorite flower. 

I was then graced with another visit from the girls, my mom and Sean. We ventured outside to get some fresh air. 

Out side of the hospital they have a nice little court yard with a water features (which Maia really wanted to play in but she was really good to stay out). My mom was great to keep Kassia wrangled in.

Kassia didn't want to sit for long and the only way I could get her to sit on my lap was with the lure of Sean's phone. 

She gave me some sweet smiles.

The night finished with me getting another visit from a dear friend, getting moved to a new room and spending evening laughing and having such an enjoyable visit! 

Having the NG tube removed from my nose has made this day amazing. There isn't a word strong enough for how much I dislike a nasal tube but I'm hoping it doesn't ever have to come back. 

I had another friend and her son come and visit me. Wise words of wisdom were shared and her son made me grateful for farts over the neighbor who had to use a bed pan. 

I was also able to have a wonderful visit from my mother. She has been so key in keeping our lives from falling apart this week, as school started for Sean this week and with me being in the hospital. The girls have loved having Nona visiting and it has helped me know that Sean isn't stressed about trying to care for the girls and for me to know they are taken care of. 

Oh a little blessing I had was when I moved rooms, they gave me a room with a view of something other then the side of a building. I can live with this view:

Tonight Maia and Sean came to visit and Maia snuggled me in bed while we watched TV together. It is tender moments like this that bring tears to my eyes because I am so grateful to be a mother. I know this is hard on them but throughout the last year Maia has matured and has come familiar with a hospital so it is not a scary place anymore. That allows us to have good visits and keeps me present in their lives.

My heart is very full tonight. I am blessed. I'm not sure what the future will bring but I know the sun will rise in the morning, that I am loved by so many, that prayers have the power to heal and there is always something to help me through. 

Back Again

 On Wednesday, I had my J-tube placed and it all seamed to go well. Thursday I woke up and my stomach was pretty flat and didn't have much swelling. Later that day the nurses started my tube feeds and they seamed to be going very well. The only thing was Friday morning, I noticed that my stomach had become quite swollen. The doctors didn't seam to worried about it so I was discharged from the hospital Friday night. Since the Cleveland Clinic is 2.5 hours away, it took Sean a little bit of time to get there but luckily, my mom and dad flew into town on Thursday, so my Dad when with Sean to keep him company. 

It was really good to see my Dad and it was really nice to see how exited Maia was to see him when we got home. Actually it was kind of funny because she was more happy to see my Dad then she was to see me. She warmed back up to me quickly but I'm glad she loves her Grandpapa too. 

We'll on Saturday, my parents took the girls to the park and then after nap time, Sean took them all to the Zoo, so I could get some rest. I ended up sleeping till about 8 pm, when they got home. It was food to get some sleep but I just wasn't feeling very well. My mom got the girls down to bed and I was just chilling on the couch. I could tell the pain in my stomach was starting to get pretty intense. I took some pain medicine and then my dad and Sean took me for a walk out side, to help things get moving. I still hadn't had a bowel movement since before the surgery so I was starting to get a little worried. I discontinued my feeds because I felt like I was just backing up.

I won't go into super detail but lets just say, last night was pretty rough. Through the vomiting and pain I was only able to catch a couple hours of sleep here and there. I think Sean got even less. This morning, I had Sean call the Cleveland clinic and he talked to the on call nurse. The nurse was pretty adamit that I should be taken to the nearest hospital and really that we should call 911. Neither Sean or I thought that was necessary but we didn't feel like we could make it all the way to Cleveland. So we headed into the OSU emergency room. 

After pain medicine, vomiting, anti-nausea meds, and one CT scan later, the verdict was in. I have a small bowel obstruction. Unfortunately it is a pretty bad obstruction and they are trying to decompress my stomach with a Nasal Gastric tube and hoping that the obstruction will work it's way out. If it doesn't, I am looking at having to have another surgery to fix the obstruction. This would have to be an open surgery and I have to say I am praying really hard that this will resolve on it's own. I really don't want another surgery especially an open surgery. If it does come to another surgery, we will deal, but I would like to avoid it if possible.

If you wouldn't mind saying a prayer for me, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all for all your love and support! I know I couldn't get through all this with out all the support of my family, friends and through the faith of many. 

Tomorrow is a new day and well see what it has to bring. :)

J-tube

I thought I would write a quick blog post as I am waiting to go into surgery, to have a J-tube  placed. I have had a lot of mixed emotions about having this done, but it has come down to the fact that I need this right now. My body isn't working right and we can't figure out why but it needs nutrition, the right kind of nutrition. With that nutrition, I will be able to live a more functional life. I'll have the energy that I need, to be the mother I want to be and to live the life I want to live. 

As of right now I will have the J-tube until further notice. There really isn't a good plan in place to help stop the vomiting and so this J-tube will be my constant companion. It is a necessary evil but I have come to peace with the fact that my life will just look a little different for me. I am very grateful to be living in a time and place where I am able to have this option. There are many in other countries who don't have the luxury of a feeding tube and they end up starving to death. I'm going to make the best of this situation and live my life to fullest. Where I am today is just a step to allow me to do that.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers said for me. I am truly blessed to have such supportive family and friends. 

Here is a drawing of what a J tube looks like: 

They will be going in Laparoscopically to place this tube. This should be a short surgery but it will require me to stay in the hospital for a couple of nights. They want to make sure that my pain is under control and that I tolerate having tube feeds fed into my small intestines. If all goes well I should be discharged on Friday. 

Functional Vomiting

A week and a half ago I made the trip up to the Cleveland Clinic to see if they could put a finger on what is causing my vomiting. It was quite the day as I had to do several preoperative appointments for the Jejunum tube (J tube) that I am having placed on the 19th. In the middle of those appointments, I saw my Gi doctor, Dr. Gabbard. I actually had had an appointment with him a year ago but his treatments at the time were to little too late. We ended up moving to Utah to soon after for us to further   his treatment plan. He still feels that I am having problems with the nerves of my stomach. That being said, since I'm still throwing up after all my surgeries, he still feels that I am having problems with the nerves in my stomach. He thinks I have Functional Vomiting.

So I am trying a new drug called Remeron. It is an anti-depresion drug with a side effect of helping the stomach nerves to communicate with the brain. I am also using a scopolamine patch to see if that helps with the nausea and vomiting. The Pharmacist was quite funny about this drug when he was explaining it. He told me it was a favorite drug in nursing homes because it caused the sleepiness, weight gain, and calming in the elderly. He also said women tend to not like it because of the weight gain. Then he looked at me and said that I was on the thin side and I piped in to tell him weight gain would be welcomed in my case. Lastly, he told me the drug could make me feel like I have a hangover, which I had to have him clarify what that might look like. He finished by asking me if I was depressed and when I told him no, he said that the doctor was really going off label on this drug (meaning it's not really intended to stop vomiting).

The first week on these drugs left me sleepy and with blurry vision, but the vomiting still persisted. On Tuesday, Dr Gabbard upped the prescription to 30mg a day to see if the increased dosage would help. So far it hasn't changed a thing. I'm still vomiting. On the plus side I have been able to maintain my weight. I have to give this drug a good 4-6 weeks to see if it will help at all but in the meantime I am scheduled to have a feeding tube placed on the 19th to help make sure I am getting not only enough calories but enough to help me gain some weight back. 

Tomorrow I meet with the surgeon who will be placing my J-tube. I am also having and another gastric emptying study done to completely rule out Gastroparesis. This test requires me to eat radio active eggs and then be monitored/have imaging done every hour for four hour. We'll see if I can keep it down. 

My hope is to update this blog a lot sooner then two weeks after my appointment, so you can at least know what the surgeon's plan is.

First Dental Visit

Today Maia had her first Dental check up! She did really well with it, except she didn't like to be on the chair when it was being moved up or down. Other then that she was a champ!

Here she is getting the tooth paste wiped off of her teeth. 

We had this done at the dental school so there were a few different people walking around but Maia liked to look at the animal cards they had stuck to the ceiling and the fishes on the wall. 

Any time the student would touch Maia's teeth she would start to giggle, which of course made everyone giggle a little. The dentist kept telling Maia that she must have ticklish teeth. 

As of right now, Maia has all of her teeth in and they look healthy. She has a little bit of a cross bite but they think that might change as she gets older. The dentist said to see her again in 6 months. :)